the one where I write.

So I had a date the other night. Yes, my first one.
Who knows why it’s taken me this long. Struggles with my body certainly don’t help. I mean, it’s not like it’s that much different now than it was 9 months ago. No I didn’t have a baby. I started running about 9 months ago. I did a triathlon 2 months ago.
But enough about me. Let’s talk about the date.

It was pretty low pressure- asked a friend via e-mail to dinner, then a party. I was already going to see him earlier that day so we were to finalize our plan then. We chatted later, I suggested the Standard Tap, a place I’d heard served excellent food and had a good beer list. I picked him up and we made our way to the restaurant.
Dinner was good, the beer was excellent. Conversation went well, too. We talked about all the things you need to catch up on with someone you know-but-don’t-know-but-want-to-know-more-about-what-you-do-know (got that?). I paid the bill (because- woo! I got a promotion!) which felt slightly awkward, but not in that “I mind” kind of way. We took our Phillies swag (being given away for free) and headed out the door.
As we walked, we talked about some things we have in common and he asked my opinion on something. As part of my reply, I looped my arm through his (my big move of the night) and we walked like that all the way to the car.
We went to the party, where I did my best not to follow him around (we both knew people there) but towards the end of the evening, as I was getting tired (apple/pumpkin picking followed by a run will do that to you), I kept standing near him/listening to whatever conversation was going on around us. I didn’t add much to the convo- they were mainly talking in/about Spanish, not something I have a knowledge base for.
Finally the evening ended and we headed for the door. At the door, this cute (to me) thing happened: our hostess for the evening was using her “Greek guilt” tactics to try and convince us to stay and eat more. He grabbed my arm and escorted me outside amidst the laughter.
The card ride home was relatively quiet, some chatter about mutual friends, pumpkin carving the next weekend, etc. I dropped him off and he bounced out of the car and into his house.
Ok, so this is obviously me overanalyzing the whole situation, but I think it’s my due. It was my first! Let me continue.

I saw a glimpse of him on Sunday evening- passing like ships in the night.
I saw him again on Tuesday (he’s at my house every Tuesday for a small group meeting with my roommate and others) and had a slightly awkward conversation about the pumpkin carving (it’s not happening, he fumbled through something about friends coming in from out of town) and I dashed out the door for a late night run.
When the meeting was over, I came out of my room in search of dinner. Everyone was standing in our kitchen cooing over our new kitten (Louise!) so I chatted a bit and waited for everyone to move out the door. We exchanged a look or two (and me in my gross running gear still! I spent a few minutes in my room staring at myself in the mirror and saying “this is who you are” in order to convince myself not to change before I went out there), but that was it.
My roommate asked me how I felt seeing him after the weekend, and I thought (and still do) that it was awkward, but OK. I had realized at some point during the evening that he wasn’t there to see me, so I could not expect very much from him.

Here’s the kicker- I don’t know how to proceed from here! Did he even consider that a date? Did he have a good time? Is he interested in me? Should I just wait until I see him again (on more neutral territory) and see what happens? Yes, that sounds like a good option. A safe option.
Do I want to be safe? I’ve been safe for 26 years and look where it’s gotten me.

I know these are all normal things to wonder. But I like writing them down. This has been swarming in my head all week and it feels good to put it down.